The Reason
by honesthyperbole
Summary: Lily Evans was everything a bright, young witch should be: kind, witty, and talented. She had everything going for her as she began her seventh year at Hogwarts, but when she steps into the middle of a duel everything changes. Her memory from the past seven years is gone, and the two boys who had been striving for her attention for seven years aren't complaining about it.


**CHAPTER ONE: In the Hospital Wing**

Lily Evans was a rational girl; everybody knew that. She was level-headed, rarely got upset, and relied on her wit above anything else. So it came as quite a shock to most students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to find out that she had thrown herself in the middle of a corridor duel and that she was currently under scrupulous supervision by the young matron Madam Pomfrey.

No one, however, was as shocked as Lily. In fact, from the moment she woke up in the Hospital Wing on that rainy October afternoon, Lily was baffled by most everything she encountered. Most particularly, her age.

Madam Pomfrey told her she had amnesia, a memory loss condition caused by the trauma she sustained by stepping into the duel. Lily spent the ensuing hours staring as the crisp hospital sheets folded themselves, trying to remember something - anything - of her life in the last seven years. But the last thing she could recall was the excitement that she had felt when she first boarded the Hogwarts Express in her first year, smiling at her best friend who's pale face brightened at the sight of her.

Part of Lily didn't really believe that she was seven years older than she was then. But even she could not deny her age when forced with the hard fact of physicality: her hands were long and slender, without childish softness and with ink under the trimmed nails; her hair, once fiery red, was now an ugly, dry black that made her wince every time she spotted it; and her body was no longer bony with adolescence, but curved, wiry, and uncomfortably long. She was grateful that Madam Pomfrey hadn't offered her a mirror to look into, because she wasn't certain that she was ready to see her own face just yet.

It was just past four o'clock when the Hospital Wing doors were flung open and four students strode in. The only girl in the group let out a small cry when she saw that Lily was awake and practically flew to her. "Lily - how are you?"

"Fine..." said Lily uncertainly.

"You poor thing." The girl, with motherly gentleness, brushed away some of the hair from her face. "You were silly to jump into the duel like that you know. You could have been seriously hurt."

Lily shrugged uncomfortably. She guessed that this girl - obviously a friend of hers - didn't know that she didn't have the faintest idea who she was.

"Go easy on her, Alice," said one of the boys, wrapping his arm around her waist. He was short and soft, with a smiling face and a short nose. "She's had a tough day."

The other two boys hung back, one looking upset and the other watching her with interest. Both were handsome, but there was something about them that made Lily pull her sheets up higher. "Look," she began. "I appreciate you all visiting me. I do. But..." Her voice cracked. "I really don't have a clue who you are. I've got amnesia, and I don't remember any of - this." She waved broadly at the room, indicating the castle in general.

"Amnesia - "

"Your hair is black," one of the other boys said suddenly, the upset one. He was skinny and not very tall, but muscular with messy black hair and glasses that had slipped down his nose. "Your hair is _black_." This, more than anything, seemed to disturb him.

"Really, Potter," Alice snapped. "She just mentioned that she can't remember any of us and you're concerned about her _hair?_ "

Potter fell silent, but moved closer to her. His scrutinizing, searching looks made Lily feel like she was on trial. "I'm James," he said quietly, extending his hand.

"Lily..." She took it, unsure of what was going on. She glanced over at Alice for reassurance but the girl was gaping at her.

The boy who Lily hadn't yet spoken to burst out laughing. "Merlin, she must have hit her head hard."

"Shut up, Sirius," James said sharply. "Be nice."

Sirius just grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets. He was the only one in the group without robes on.

"May I speak to Severus?" Lily asked timidly. She wanted to see the only face she knew that she knew, even if it was older than she remembered.

James' jaw tightened, and Alice cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Lily, that's probably not such a good idea right now," she said.

"Why?"

"Because the little - " James checked himself. "Because he hurt you."

Lily laughed shrilly. "Severus, hurt me? He couldn't even hurt a fly." _Seven years ago_ , a little voice in her head reminded her. _Things might have changed._

Everyone exchanged glances but said nothing. Alice leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'll come back and visit in the morning, Lily, and I'll fix that hair of yours."

"Thanks," Lily whispered. She watched as the foursome tromped out of the Hospital Wing, feeling sickened. Her head was throbbing with pain and unwanted thoughts, so she called Madam Pomfrey with the silver bell by her bedside and the kindly matron brought her a light biscuit and a sleeping drought. Lily took them both gratefully.

It was dark when Lily woke up again. She rubbed the crust away from her eyes, unsure of where she was or why she had awakened. It took all of her power not to scream, therefore, when she realized that there was someone sitting at the foot of her bed, holding her hand. " _Severus?_ " she whispered, shocked.

"Lils..." The boy dropped her hand and moved forward, into the moonlight. "Merlin."

"I'm okay," she said automatically. She couldn't stop staring at him, full grown, a man. His face was thin and pale, and his black hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail. But what struck her were his eyes: deep, dark, and full of pain. "Oh, Severus..." She unthinkingly reached up to brush his face with her fingers, needing to make sure he was real.

"They say you can't remember anything," Severus whispered. "Is that true?"

"Yes," she said softly. And then, "But I remember you."

A look of something like joy passed over his face, before being clouded by another thought. "I'm sure they told you, didn't they?"

Lily knew what he meant. She held his gaze. "Yes."

Severus looked down at his hands. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know." She touched his hand gently. "You promised me you never would, remember?"

Severus looked like he was being both strangled and kissed at the same time, fighting with both guilt and happiness. "How are you feeling?

Lily shrugged. Her head was killing her and she could barely keep her eyes open, but she wasn't going to tell him that. "I'll live."

He took her hand again and held it tight, pressing it against his cheek. "I should go, Lils."

"You'll come back though, right?" Lily asked anxiously.

Severus gave her such a deep look that she shivered. "Always."

* * *

 _Thank you for reading my first story! I hope you'll continue to follow me through this journey. I promise that it will be fun (heehee). If you have any suggestions/comments/ideas/constructive ciriticism please feel free to message or review - I'd love to chat!_


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